On talk shows the audience claps for the guest that walks out on stage. The guest has done nothing to earn such a welcome. Sometimes the biggest surprise is when a guest gets a standing ovation for saying they know how to do something so trivial such as tying their own shoes.

On game shows the audience claps when a contestant walks on stage. Should the contestant win a juicer as a parting gift, well, the audience goes wild.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there were applause in real life? When I walk in the front door of my home nobody claps, nobody gives me a standing ovation. Nobody greets me. Nobody cares. The only time someone runs up to me is when they ask, “When’s dinner?” It would be nice when I walked thru my front door if I was greeted like a game show contestant.

The house lights would go dim and a spotlight would shine on me. Mysteriously, out of nowhere an announcer’s hushed voice, would introduce me. “Ladies and gentlemen please put your hands together and help me welcome, Cindy Argiento. She’s a writer and mother of three wonderful kids (they’re always wonderful on game shows.) She enjoys skydiving (hey, if I’m fantasizing it may as well be good,) swimming with sharks and taming mountain lions. She’s been married to the same man for 27 and isn’t upset she can’t remember her hairs natural color anymore. After this rousing introduction there will be Applause! Applause! Applause! Just think how much happier we’d be if we were all greeted in this way.

I did come pretty close the other day. I was walking past a house when a little girl who was standing in the front door, saw me, opened the door, waved and said, “Hi.” Sure, the girl didn’t applaud, but she did have a big smile. Sure, there was no confetti, but she had enthusiasm. And even though I didn’t win a juicer, I considered myself a winner as she didn’t ask, “When’s dinner?”

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