Being a person of short stature I have had conversations with men where I’m eye level with their tie. I have had conversations with women where I’m eye level with their heaving bosom. But the scariest conversation was recently.

I was watching him talk. I saw his lips moving. I know words were coming out, but I had no idea what he was saying. As he talked I kept thinking whether or not I was going to be sucked up into the deep, dark vortex, otherwise known as his nose. This thought was front and center as I spoke to my neighbor who’s a lot taller than me. He likes to stand close when we talk and since I have to look up to see his face I wind up staring straight up his nose, with the very wide nostrils. Looking up his nostrils is like looking at theGrand Canyon– you have to take in small sections at a time. And since he’s a heavy breather I fear being sucked up into one every time he takes a breath. Luckily for me he didn’t have a booger hanging from his nose. I hate to think what would happen if he had sneezed on the woman with the heaving bosom.

Leave a Reply