Last night at a small get together I was unfortunately introduced to a guy. I say, “Unfortunately,” because the guy had bad breath. When he opened his mouth to speak it was as though a dragon had unleashed its fire upon me. Luckily, someone was standing behind to catch me when I fell backward from the full force of his breath. And why is it, that it’s always the people with bad breath who are the close talkers. They stand nose to nose and breathe heavy. What’s even worse than a close talker with bad breathe is a spitter (someone who spits when they talk.) If you stand next to someone with bad breathe, who’s a close talker and a spitter then you’ll have smelly spit on your face.

A person who eats garlic will have bad breathe, but at least it’s only temporary.

Unfortunately, I have a neighbor who smells like garlic; not his breathe, but his body odor. Every once and awhile when we talk I’ll get a whiff of him, depending on which way the winds blowing. Sometimes I’ll get a powerful punch right up my nose. When we talk I’m mentally checking out the wind conditions so I’ll know which direction to stand. He does get curious the times when we stand back to back.

I have a friend who doesn’t have to worry about body odor or bad breathe as her car has the offending scent. Hers was the first car I ever got in where I gagged and then held my breathe; this worse than bad breathe man or body odor man. Not only did her car smell, but it was messy and the seats were sticky. Unfortunately, I was wearing shorts and when I tried to get out my legs stuck to the seat. Afterward I took a shower.

What do say to these people? Do you say anything at all? Do you offer them a mint or a bar of soap? I believe if you tell someone, “You stink,” you may, end up with a broken nose. That would be unfortunate.

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