It’s reported that a Rhode Island man set a new worlds record with the first pumpkin ever to weigh more than a ton at 2,009 pounds. Wow! That’s a lot of pumpkin and seeds. The other day I walked by a house that already had pumpkins decorating the front lawn; a little early, but why not. It’s fall and pumpkins are a part of fall like Christmas tress are to Christmas. I enjoy the painted and carved ones done up for Halloween. Every year we go to the pumpkin patch and get one. I love the smell when you cut into one and I love its seeds. I just don’t love pumpkin pie. Actually, my husband doesn’t much care for it either. Then again, we’re not coffee drinkers. It’s un-American.

What I want to know is why. Why do we carve and paint pumpkins? We don’t abuse any other food in such a manner. Who was the first person to look at one and say, “Pilgrim, instead of eating this food, I will carve and paint it.” Was it an Indian who then reached into his cosmetics bag for his war paint?

I attended a state fair where people had decorated cucumbers; something oddly kinky and wrong about that.

But pumpkins do offer a welcoming touch propped on your front porch. They look nice until they start to decline to the point where they could use plastic surgery, only no amount of surgery will help. One day it’s sagging and looking like a person who forgot to put their dentures in and the next, it’s fodder for crows.

Sometimes pumpkins are replaced only when it’s time for the Christmas lights. Christmas lights are replaced only when it’s time for Easter decorations. There’s always been whispers about who children favor more – Santa or the Easter bunny, well I can tell you, thanks to sheer laziness, they love each equally.


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