An article in my local paper mentioned the Swipe Tie ($39.95) which is a silk necktie with a patch of microfiber fabric designed to remove smudges and fingerprints from surfaces such as glass and gadgets such as smartphones. A t-shirt is also available with three options for placement of the cleaning cloth.

Yesterday on Ellen she showed the FlaskTie which she found online. It’s a tie with a built-in flask. I guess it’s for the person who can’t wait to get home from work to start drinking. Your boss may get a little curious if you started drinking from your tie during a board meeting. Reason for extermination – orally fixated with his tie.

While it’s nice to have clothes that serve a dual purpose, it would be nicer to have clothes that clean themselves. If you can scotch guard furniture, why not clothes? If there was scotch guard clothing you would no longer have to worry about unsightly wine or ketchup stains. Wouldn’t that be nice?

What I’d like even better is someone to help me dress, the way they do on Downton Abbey. Imagine having someone to help you dress and undress. Why Robert (Earl of Grantham) and Lady Mary have people to tie everything from their tie to shoes. When I was pregnant I once asked my husband to help me tie my shoes and he told me to get a different pair of shoes; so much for a personal assistant. I wonder if privileged children in that era had to learn how to tie their shoes. The characters on the show have a wardrobe big enough allowing for six changes a day. My wardrobe consists of clothes that fit and clothes that don’t fit. No wonder why no one on the show works outside the house, they’re all to busy changing clothes. They don’t have time to work.

If we all had lady maids there would be no need for dual purpose clothing or clothing made with scotch guard fabric. Although, I still think it’s a good idea.

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