What constitutes an affair? Sex? Emotions? Which is worse – an affair with just  sex or an affair with emotions involved? I think most women would choose the emotional affair. When you know your spouse has given their heart to someone else, you know you’ve lost them.

The writer of the advice column in my local newspaper wrote, ‘some people mistakenly believe if there’s no sex, there’s no affair. But giving your heart, emotions and innermost thoughts to someone other than your spouse is cheating.’

When you give your heart to someone there’s love. When you lust after someone there’s raging hormones. Love and lust are two separate things. You can lust after someone other than your spouse. It’s love that’ll keep you from breaking your wedding vows. It’s love that holds you to your word of honor. Besides, you know if you got caught you’d be toast. How many of you would cheat if you knew you wouldn’t get caught?

The day of a friend’s wedding she asked me as I applied her makeup, “What if I marry him and then meet Mr. Right?” Excuse me?! She was getting married in an hour! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! Her soon-to-be husband should be Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now. I suspected love and lust for her would go hand-in-hand and her Mr. Right Now would become Mr. Goodbye.

As a married person you learn loyalty means many things. It means your spouse eats your homemade cake rather than his mother’s (which they like better.) Loyalty means nodding in agreement at whatever your spouse says in public and waiting to yell and disagree later, in private. How could they have said such a crazy thing?

According to my local grocery store’s slogan – ‘loyalty deserves a pat on the back.’ So, tonight in bed, rather than giving my husband a kiss, I’ll give him a pat on the back. It’s what every loyal spouse wants.

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