I like getting my haircut. I like the shampoo. I like the head massage. I like the cutting. All this relaxes me. What I don’t like is the mess of hair all over me. Hair falls and clings to my eyelashes causing irritation and mascara to run. It falls into my ears and sticks out causing people to run and buy me grooming products for unwanted facial hair. It falls and lands on my lips and is inhaled while talking, causing me to choke. And even though my hairdresser rinses my hair after cutting, loose hairs remain hidden.

Later these hairs show up on my pillow. They appear on my clothes. And they will fall on to my nose and into my soup. One will always silently drift onto my white bread sandwich. It’s enough to make me want to pull the hair out of my head and be bald. May not be a bad idea. But then I’d have to apply sunscreen on sunny days.

And why is it always a bald guy driving a convertible with the top down? This is like the guy who wears socks with sandals. Stop it! It’s not right! It’s not attractive! Does the bald convertible driving guy apply sunscreen? Once I was behind one in traffic and the sun was reflecting off his head that I had to lower my visor and put on my sunglasses.

Only if I went bald there’d be no fuss, no muss, no cutting involved; just sunscreen.

If I get sunscreen should I get cream or spray on? Either one leaves streaks. I don’t want to walk or drive around with a streaked head. How bad would that look if I drove a convertible? On second thought I’ll keep my hair and get a wig.


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