An article in USA Today reported that in an attempt to revive declining sales, gum brands are making changes and trying to give teens relevant reasons to chew gum. One change that caught my eye is degradable gum which can disintegrate into a fine powder using water and elbow grease. Just think how easy it’ll now be to remove wads of gums from underneath school desks, restaurant tables and movie theater seats. No matter how you try to dress it up gum is still gum. After a few minutes it losses its flavor, much like colored soap loses its color.

I’ve never been big on gum. I chew it till it loses its flavor and then I spit it out. Why, I’ve stepped in gum more times than I’ve chewed it.

What drives me crazy about the people who chew gum are the ‘poppers,’ they don’t chew, they pop, pop, pop. It’s usually the girl in the movie theater, twirling her hair, sitting next to me.

Then there are the people who chew loudly. We had a tour guide inHawaiithat chewed loudly. He’d point out an attraction, “And over there are the sugar canes”…Then he’d pause to chew, chew, chew his gum. It wouldn’t have been so annoying if he didn’t hold the microphone up to his mouth. He’d continue with, “To the left we have”…. Chew, chew, and chew. “And to the right you’ll see”… chew, chew, burp. That burp was included in the gratuity tax.

As I viewed the beauty ofMauiI chewed on ugly thoughts of where I wanted to stick his gum. Since it was the pre degradable gum days it would have been hard to remove.

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